We all have long dating absences. It might be that you’ve been divorced for a couple of years and think you deserve to come back to a loving relationship. It might be that you’ve never really been a dating person, but now you think ‘what’s the worst that could happen?’ It might be you’ve been so focused on your career and only now have you remembered your interest in the opposite or same sex.
Well, when coming back to the dating scene, it can take a little while to shake off the accumulated cobwebs. Dating is not an art or a science, it’s simply the act of being yourself and communicating with another person. However, when coming back after a long time, it’s easy to overthink things. For this reason, ensuring you simplify your mind with the following tips can help you tremendously, and simply enjoy the experience for what it is from the outset:
It’s important to focus on yourself first. This means doing your best to look and feel your best. Most of the emphasis here is on feeling your best, but that can also be achieved through looking great. It might be you head to the gym and take care of your body to feel more energized and alert during the date. It might be you use the best rose perfumes to give yourself an enchanting aura. It could be you take a few moments to truly see and look after the person you are, such as noting down all the accomplishments you’ve made since being single. This will show you that by yourself you are more than enough, and a new person will only add to that, not provide it. It might simply be perfecting your ‘don’t mess with me’ walk, which needn’t be intimidating, just powerful and graceful. When you try to help yourself feel wonderful, you will approach the date with more love and care than you might have done otherwise.
Remember, dating is not a form of deception. While you might have previously been guilty of exaggerating things in your life to impress the other person, a period of solitude can often help us forget those silly needs and simply present ourselves as we are. This means being upfront about your situation and learning about the person you are dating. You might find out that while you have one child without an active father, they have two without an active mother. It might be you both laugh about how dating isn’t for you, and the whole artifice has made you both feel a little nervous. It’s these moments where the people meet in the middle, and they then begin to have a mutually rewarding time. If you’re not honest to a fault, you’re less likely to see this result.
Overthinking can be a curse when it comes to dating effectively and well. That means these previous two tips are all you need to consider. Work on yourself to ensure you are genuinely proud of who you are and what you have to offer, even if you should be already but simply need to prove it to yourself. Stay honest, and the natural, real progression of the night will come out, even if it’s negative you will have gained something.
Then, if you’re lucky, perhaps something beautiful can bloom.
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