I haven’t written much lately about my love life because well, there hasn’t really been one! You may recall me writing about the Great Year End Purge of 2017, when I deleted the contacts of a bunch of guys I had dated who weren’t going anywhere, but still kept in touch, flirting, etc – just a total waste of time in general. While I went back on Tinder and Bumble mid-November after setting my foot down and ending things with someone I’ve been seeing off and on for quite a while, it hasn’t been working out so well this time around.
What the literal f*ck is going on? Of course it’s natural for people to go through dry spells when it comes to dating, but guys, this is freaking ridiculous! I haven’t been on a date since before Thanksgiving….it’s been a month! AND he never texted me after our first date. Then weeks later, he was creeping on my Snap story…I called him out on it and he asked to see me again, then flaked. SEVERAL TIMES.
This is becoming a trend, and I really don’t like it. Not the “doesn’t text after a first date” thing, because let’s face it – I am not everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. What drives me absolutely insane is these guys that text me, ask me on a date, then stop answering my texts.
IT HAPPENS ALL OF THE TIME.
Quite honestly, it’s worse than being stood up, or cancelled on. Thankfully, I’ve never endured the humiliation of being stood up on a first date, but this trend of guys asking me out and then ghosting me for days or just period, it’s starting to weigh on me. I am not depressed, exactly. Just really exasperated and angry. I am sick of the games, sick of men wasting my time, texting me, and then never actually wanting to date me.
WHY DO ALL OF THESE MEN WANT PEN PALS?
Can you tell that I am angry and reaching the end of my rope with this whole dating nonsense?
Take a look at this conversation I had last Wednesday evening. DECEMBER 14th. Do you see the previous conversation? We made plans to go out in early August and he stopped texting me. We did not have dinner. This is someone I’ve been on two dates with between March – June…there is no excuse for this type of behavior. I wasn’t rude, didn’t call him out on it, nothing. I let it go. He lives about 45 minutes away and works a weird schedule due to his job, so I don’t press it. I did follow up a month later asking for a favor for a friend, but he didn’t even respond.
Then, HEY. Out of nowhere. THEN SILENCE.
Another guy, whom we’ll refer to as Macklemore – because he looks just like Macklemore – he’s even worse. He will literally ask me out for a certain day, and then stop texting. Or cancel. Or ask to reschedule. Or pretend he forgot. We had two dates in early April, and never saw each other again.
HE STILL TEXTS ME CONSTANTLY. It has been E I G H T months. He works the night shift, so dating is difficult, I get it. But we had plans for a date Wednesday evening, and he cancelled last minute because he needed to go shopping and meal prep for the week. As far as I can tell, this is someone who isn’t really interested in me romantically but is lonely and wants someone to chat with every few days. He is super funny, so I always end up talking to him. I have several guys that I have dated in the past and still chat with as friends, even some that moved away. Most of the men I’ve dated are really great guys and there are no hard feelings towards them when the relationship ends – texting buddies is just fine by me.
It’s been eight months, Macklemore. Enough is enough. I was so irritated with him after this exchange that I texted the guy from November back and we made plans to get together for lunch after he got off work…and then he stopped texting once I said I was taking a shower and was heading down.
This guy? He was super cute, we had a great time, and he’s in the military, passing through on assignment. He leaves in January and we agreed that we’d hang out until he left, I’d show him around town, I would have some social outings – no stress, no hassle. Exactly what I need during the holiday season when I don’t have a lot of time to invest in dating, but don’t want to sit at home every day.
We have made several dates in the two weeks that I’ve been home from Germany, and he stops texting each time we make a date. Literally. Then he’ll send me a Snapchat of him at work or something, or text out of the blue. He’s done this four times in less than 10 days. I finally got tired of it and deleted his number. I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THESE GAMES.
He got deleted. No more chances. I wasn’t even technically dating him, since he’s not here very long, but dude! Stop wasting my time! BYE.
So, the Great Year End Purge began early this year…and I have a feeling that it’s not over quite yet, as I still have guys randomly texting me that I have never met…in one to two years.