Have you ever felt a little stuck in place, trapped, mired down, and unable to move forward with some important aspect of your life? It’s not just you. It happens to everybody. That said, some people seem to be able to do just the right self-talk or find just the right motivation to get themselves unstuck and moving forward to a better and brighter future. At first, it is a really scary feeling, like finding yourself in quicksand. You know you have to get out. You just can’t figure out how.
At some point things start to shift to an even worse state. In the beginning, the thought of being permanently stuck scared you silly. But as time moves on with no change, the thought of you moving becomes even scarier. The only thing that seems worse than not breaking the big stuck is actually making the big move. That is when you know you have a problem. The quicksand pit could be a relationship, or a job, or even a place. It doesn’t matter what it is. What matters is that you find a way to break its grip on your life before all the joy and wander is squeezed out of it. Here are some of the things in which people get stuck, and what can be done about it:
Some percentage of people travel from birth to burial without ever leaving the city limits. That place becomes their identity and that is just the way they like it. Others would give almost anything to leave. But fear and hesitation hold them back. They are not happy no matter how hard they try to convince themselves that they are. And they are gripped with the fear of the unfamiliar and the possibility of failure.
If that is you, it could be that all you need is a little help figuring out how to make friends in a new city. It can be daunting just trying to make friends even in familiar places. There are many strategies to overcome this fear. One of the easiest ways to overcome this fear is just to be a little emotionally vulnerable. When you are in a new city, everything is new. People will naturally try to help. That help will allow them the freedom to reach out, and you the freedom to accept the outreach. You can practice this where you are. Try reaching out to someone who is new to your city and see how easy they make a friend of you. A little vulnerability makes you open to the help of a new friend.
Your Child’s Sanity
We would give up anything for ourselves. But we would sacrifice everything for our children. When your child has trouble letting go, you naturally want to help, even if that means you get and stay stuck for a while.
Here’s the thing, getting stuck can be worse for your child than moving on. You have some idea of what you are missing. Your child does not. Their world will be smaller than it has to be because you chose to allow their moment of discomfort hinder them from achieving the growth that comes through facing adversity. When they get old enough to make those decisions for themselves and their kids, they will be even more likely to get even more stuck than you find yourself. Push past the emotion of the moment for the boundless future of your child.
A Bad Relationship and False Security
You have to find a way to break out of a bad relationship for good, and for the good of everyone involved. This is your moment to protect your children from a dangerous person, or perhaps just a person who will give them a bad example. Do you want your daughter to treat a future bad relationship the way you are treating yours? The lie that life tells you is that to save your children, you have to stay in the relationship. That never ends well for the ones you want to protect the most. There is life after that relationship. You will not have to face the future alone.
Don’t let fear and uncertainty keep you from moving to another city. Be as devoted to protecting your child’s future as you are their present moment. And set the example of strength and courage by leaving a bad relationship without regret. You’re worth it, and so are the ones you love.