We’ve all been there – our relationship is going through somewhat of a sexual drought. And, it’s such a shame that we feel embarrassed to talk about this with our close girlfriends or any friends, really. Like we’re doing something wrong or in a lousy marriage because it’s been a few weeks or a few months since that last time you and your partner, you know, did it. But, the reality is, if you ask anyone candidly, they will admit that they too encounter sexual problems through all the ebbs of flows of ’til death do us part. Luckily, there are so many ways to get around and over this situation if and when it happens to you. So, keep the following in mind when navigating this, and you will almost definitely come out on the other side grinning and satisfied.
Communication is Key
This sounds so cliche because, well, it is. But honest communication really is the bedrock to any serious relationship, one that you hope to be lasting anyway. Maybe the sexual drought is happening to stress in life, medical situations, or perhaps you just haven’t communicated what you really need sexually from your partner. If you’re into things that you’re not getting from your significant other, you owe to yourself and to them to make these things known. If someone can’t handle an emotionally mature conversation like this, you’ve got more significant issues than not connecting physically recently.
Toys, toys, toys!
And we’re not talking about the children’s toys. We’re talking about toys you bring out after the children have long been in bed for the night. Even better, please send them to their grandparents for the weekend so you can really explore the toy situation freely! Go ahead and sit down together and peruse all that the internet has to offer the two of you. Whether you want to start slow and soft with a fun pair of fuzzy handcuffs or try a dildo, toys can make all the difference in upping your sex game level and bringing the two of you closer together. If nothing else, they’re worth a try to rule out if they’re a good fit for you as a sexual couple or not. Chances are – they’re going to be a great fit!
It’s not just about the ladies wearing sexy lingerie to turn on their partner. Dressing up in the bedroom is so much more than that. Maybe you have a fantasy of your partner being the cliche firefighter or bank robber. Perhaps they want you dressed up as a nurse. There’s so much to explore in this arena. But, not only are they fun conversations to try to figure out what the two of you are into, but it’s equally fun to shop for these types of costumes. Heck, you might even get a new wig out of the situation. This also brings couples closer because it really takes confidence to essentially bear yourself as an “actor” in this fantasy between one another. And like anything else, trying it once and realizing you’re just not that into it is A-Ok.
Save The Date
Learning to date your partner all over again goes a long way when it comes to reinvigorating your sex life. Take a step further and plan to “meet” each other again for the first time. From there, go on dates with one another. Sure, you’ve known each other for a long time at this point, but we’re constantly evolving as human beings. Get to know the “new” them. Ask them questions about work and friends that may have gotten lost in the day-to-day stressful conversations. Reconnecting like this brings you closer as a couple again and makes you want to get to know this “new” person sexually.
Set the Mood
You should never underestimate candles and aromatics. Set the stage for success by priming your bedroom (or kitchen, hallway, wherever) with sensual scents and the perfect lighting. Maybe there’s a style of music that always puts you in the mood, or at least the mood to dance close to one another. If you’ve got a television in your bedroom, consider storing it in the basement so that room is left exclusively to enjoy one another in a physical sense and then cuddle with one another afterward.
Incorporate this list into reconnecting and getting things back on the right track as far as you and your loved one go. Because you’ve come a long way, baby.