About a month ago, I was invited to participate in a sponsored campaign with UltraShape, a non-surgical body-shaping procedure, to help me get into better physical shape. I have been on a weight loss and exercise program the last six months or so, so I was really excited about the opportunity to take it all to the next level with a little help getting the body that I wanted...We all have those trouble areas, and mine is my stomach - that little belly pooch that so many of us moms who delivered our children via C-Section deal with. I was so excited! Finally, a way to rid of it, because no matter how many crunches I do, it's still there. But then something happened. My husband of 14 years told me that he was leaving me.
I know. You probably didn't see that coming in this post about a body-shaping procedure, right? Especially after the weekend we spent in Jamaica a few weeks ago!
Well, neither did I. We'll be shocked and confused together.
After going through the initial two week period of laying in bed shaking my fists at the heavens, crying "Why is this happening to me?!" and going through the throes of desperation, depression and panic, I realized something: I am going to be a single woman. A single woman rapidly approaching her 40's - after 14 years of being married. I am going to be thrust back into the dating scene, the Miami dating scene, no less, which you can imagine is an entirely different beast than it was the last time I was single...at 22. So here I am, completing financial affidavits for our divorce mediator, watching my husband look for apartments, explaining to Angeline that Daddy still loves her and is still her Daddy, all the while knowing in the back of my mind that when this is all over with, I'll be single - after spending what seems like a lifetime wrapped in the comfortable cocoon of marriage and unconditional love and sweat pants and eating ice cream whenever I damn well felt like it.
I realized that I have a lot of work to do.
When a woman hears the words, "I want a divorce," and "I'm not happy with you," it doesn't matter WHY. It doesn't matter that her husband says "It's not you, it's me." because he did say that. But he also said, "I'm not attracted to you anymore" and that hurt a part of me that I didn't even know existed.
So the siren started going off in my head, warning me that after 14 years of marriage, "You're going to be single again!!!!" and that my body - let alone my emotional state - is in no way prepared for dating sites (those were in their infancy when I got married! We still used Yahoo personals!), sexy date outfits, profile photos, speed dating luncheons and first impressions.
le sigh. First impressions. I don't think I know how to give those anymore.
But, the positive thing about divorce is that it's a great diet. You guys know me, I am always looking for the silver lining in the storm cloud; I am always searching for the positive spin - because if I focus solely on the negative, I will lose my mind, y'all.
Seriously, divorce may not be the healthiest diet, but all the nervous jitters? They're much more manageable when I spend 30 minutes on the elliptical machine each morning. I blast the most fast-paced hard rock I can find on Pandora and work out a tiny bit of my frustrations. I use my balance ball to do stomach crunches until I'm sweaty and out of breath.
While I am still eating, I find that this huge loss of appetite has finally cured my addiction to sugar and baked goods. I never thought I'd see the day when double fudge Gelato was unappealing...but it happened. When you're not eating for pleasure, just to sustain yourself, you find that it's really simple to make healthy choices when it comes to food. As it turns out, I am not a comfort eater. Thank goodness for small miracles, right?
Those moments when I feel like the world is crashing down around me and I just want to run away? I throw my 44 pound kayak into the back of my SUV, drive to the ocean and row out into the Atlantic as far as I can, as fast as I can, until I lose sight of the shore.
I cry it out, in the middle of the bay, and then I slowly row back to shore, pick up that kayak, throw it back into my SUV, go home and take a shower and then put on make up and a push up bra. I'm already starting to see some definition in my biceps.
Fortunately for me, I tend to build muscle pretty easily.
I do my hair and make up every day. I started painting my nails bright red. I bought new heels and I actually wear them.
I've lost ten pounds and one pant size in two weeks.
But that stubborn little belly pooch...it's still there and it doesn't seem like anything I'm doing is going to make it go away.
So back to my UltraShape appointment on Friday...
What is UltraShape?
UltraShape is the latest, FDA-cleared, non-surgical body-shaping procedure that uses pulsed, focused ultrasound technology to selectively and permanently destroy stubborn fat in the stomach region with no pain or down-time. There is no pain, no visible signs of treatment, and you can see smooth, contoured results in as little as two weeks after the first treatment!
How does UltraShape work?
UltraShape ultrasound energy destroys the walls of fat cells in your body, releasing the fat in the form of triglycerides. The triglycerides are then processed through the liver and eliminated from the body naturally. The surrounding tissue, nerves, and muscle are left unharmed.
After you and your physician determine the exact treatment area, a specially designed belt will be wrapped around your abdomen and a soothing gel will be applied onto your skin. A trained UltraShape technician will glide the UltraShape transducer over the treatment area, gently delivering painless ultrasound pulses.
UltraShape is exactly what I need right now. I am making the effort to take care of myself, emotionally and physically, but let's be honest: I am in a rush. I don't know if that belly pooch would ever go away with my usual diet and exercise and as the minutes count down to us filing our divorce papers, I want to feel good about myself when I look in the mirror. I NEED to feel good about my body right now.
I want this pooch to be GONE!
My before photos...
I love the idea of getting this cosmetic help to achieve the body I want without going under the knife. No surgery, no recovery, just walk in on Friday afternoon, get my first UltraShape procedure done, then go out Friday night with my girlfriends.
Fortunately for me, ALL of my local girlfriends are single. While I will not be open to dating until after my divorce is final, I desperately need a night out with my girls, dancing, having a few cocktails and badmouthing my soon-to-be ex-husband. I would like to think of myself as a mature woman...but let's get real: there will be a lot of badmouthing until this is all over.
My excitement over UltraShape is currently fueled by my fear of being newly single, but I was pretty excited about it even before this happened. As I creep closer and closer to 40, I am not as happy with my body as I once was - and I am sure that this can be said for a lot of women. We give so much of ourselves to our marriages, our children, our careers...it's very easy for us to be these selfless creatures ensuring that everyone else has what they need, and then we suddenly find that we haven't been taking very good care of our own needs.
Of course, my daughter is my first priority - I think that's a given as I am STILL a mom even if I am not a wife - but now I am focusing on myself. Now is the time for me to worry about what I want, and take the necessary steps to achieve the things that I want, which at this point in time includes a flat stomach.
Check out UltraShape on Social Media!
- Website: http://www.UltraShape.com/
- Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/UltraShape
- Twitter: https://twitter.com/UltraShape
- YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/UltraShapeUS/
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/UltraShapeUS/
Disclosure: This blog post is part of a paid SocialMoms and UltraShape blogging program. The opinions and ideas expressed here are my own.
Maria
First of all, your husband is a jerk face! Second of all you're gorgeous and you deserve to make yourself feel as such! I'm glad that the Ultrashape is going to help you get back out on the dating scene! I hope that you find true love and that you can see your true self and how wonderful you are! Also enjoy being single for a while!
Trisha Haas
Jenn, your husband is a complete moron. Let him go find some other woman to dump his emotional baggage on and with or without that (mostly invisible) stomach issue you think you have, you are a GORGEOUS woman. You will have your pick between the 23 year old Tinder Studs w/ Abs or the 50 year old Sugar Daddies...trust me.
Andrew @ Mommy's Busy
Jenn, this was a fantastic post and one I'm sure that was insanely tough to write. I know you'll make it through the tough times ahead and be tougher, stronger and smarter when you come out on the other side. Good luck with the Ultrashape appointment! Rather than a "pooch," my wife calls that trouble area her "shelf!"
Courtney
Jenn my heart aches and then sings for you. I admire your courage and strength through it all - you're a brave, beautiful and caring woman - HIS LOSS! Ooh and I sooo hear you on the mommy belly. I get so jealous of my sister in law who has had 2 babies and now has a flat stomach with abs, no diet or working out. Meanwhile when I saw my obgyn after having baby she said since I had a c-section my skin looked the way it does.. I didn't have a c-section! Then she tells me once I have more kids I should then get a tummy tuck. I'm scared of knives and can't wait to hear more about this!!
Lindsey P
You are an amazing woman! Keep on working on you - the rest will fall into place.
Jenn
Oh, that is a good one! It does seem like a little shelf. LOL One that likes to hang over my waistband!
Jenn
I am starting to look forward to being single. I forgot what a great catch I was until a few cute guys reminded me. 🙂
Robin Gagnon
Your daughter is grown & the albatross is off your neck. You have freedom baby. You can do WHATEVER you want WHENEVER you want to. That is a plus... and now you will have a flat tummy too.
Andrea
You are a strong woman and I know you'll come away from this a happier person. You look great already but I am interested in seeing how the Ultrashape works for you. My belly is my problem area too, unfortunately.
Wendy
You soon-to-be-ex-husband is a real jerk. Hopefully, he'll awake from him mid-life crisis and think, man, I really fuc**d up, and by then, it will be too late. You always look great to me, and I think anything you can do to help yourself feel better is a good thing. Go take care of YOU.
Robin Rue (@massholemommy)
I am definitely not the same after having kids. I would love a new shape!
Tracey
I saw the title of this post and assumed I would be reading something about weight loss....wow, the power of a real writer. For you to be able to tie in what you are going through with your divorce and those feelings and then relate it to Ultrashape and this new journey makes this post so powerful.
Wishing you all the best on this new journey. Even though I'm sure it will be scary, it is a time to focus on you and if that means ridding yourself of your belly pooch then do it!
PS. Your husband sounds like a fool.
kristi
Love your optimistic outlook! Ultrashape sounds like a great thing....will have to look into it for my stomach area....after twins it never quite went back to normal.
Terry
Well look at you... I think you are looking great. I hear and know what you are going through... but one day you will be more than glad he is gone.
Sharon Davis
Jenn you are AMAZING and Strong. Screw your ex. He will realize soon enough the mistake he made and it will be too late. You look great, but it's important that you feel it well. I say go after the hot younger men and the sugar daddies. You can have them all.
Can't wait to see your AFTER pictures.
Catherine S
It is so great to see that you are so positive. I have been married almost 20 years and I don't know what I would do if I was in your shoes. Go out and have fun with the girls you deserve it.
Lindsey @ Redhead Baby Mama
Congrats on the weight loss AND the new shoes 😉 I hope that your confidence goes UP and you don't have to deal with downers anymore!
Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle
First of all. Your husband is a long string of words which I cannot say in public. Secondly, I think you have a great attitude about this. Third, you get out there and show that *expletive* what a huge mistake he made!
Mitch
First of all you are adorable in that dress up above. Second, I want this! And I need this! Before Blogher!
Liz Mays
Getting in shape and exercise is a great healthy way of dealing with this type of stress. Some people go in the complete opposite direction! Ten pounds already is a huge milestone.
Marcie W.
Instead of bad mouthing your soon to be ex-husband, I want to tell you that you are beautiful. Not just physically beautiful but emotionally beautiful. I have so enjoyed seeing the stunning photos you take, reading your hilarious status updates and watching you share your fun, lighthearted take on life through your blog for years now and feel honored to have been able to do that. You give first impressions every day to sponsors, brands and readers, and you do an amazing job. I know you will have just as much success when you decide to enter the dating world.
As for the UltraShape procedure, I could so totally use this, especially after having three big ole babies and losing a lot of excess weight. I look forward to seeing your results!
Crystal Green
First off, I'm sorry to hear you're going through a divorce. However, I know you're a strong woman and will come out on top after this whole ordeal is over with!
I look forward to seeing how much this changes you in the end. You're still very beautiful and he was a fool to say that to you.
Debra
I'm so sorry that you are going thru a difficult time, but you should feel good about doing something for yourself. you need to take care of you and how you feel about yourself. I'm curious to see the after results....
Debbie Denny
This may seem like a blow to your ego with the hubby leaving, but You are a great woman. You will do this and be better.
Melinda
I am so sorry that you are going through this but it sounds like you are a strong women and will get through this. You are already very pretty so I am sure you will have no problem finding a new man. Keep up the good work.
Jeanine
Ugh your husband.... who needs him! That is ridiculous! I am so sorry you have to go through this!
In other news, I think you look stunning and I think I need this myself. How awesome is this?
valmg @ Mom Knows It All
You are beautiful, with or without Ultra Shape. After your ultra Shape and your muscles mare defined pout on those red shoes and kick up your heels, and show that ads what he chose to throw away.
Crystal
As a businesswoman, wife, and mom, I'm sure all of your energy went into taking care of others. Now it's your turn! As shocking as this whole situation is, perhaps the silver lining is you get some time to pamper yourself. It sounds like you are off to a great start at redefining your gorgeous self.
Debbie L.
You look great! Good luck on your new life - there will be a new man for you that will love you just as you are - beautiful.
Jenn
Oh my gosh, Robin...that is exactly what I told my friend last night. The albatross is off my neck. Granted, I loved that albatross, but still.
Jenn
Thank you so much, Tracey. To be totally honest, I had a really hard time writing this post because I felt like it shouldn't be so emotional! I had friends read it and even asked the client to review it to make sure it wasn't too much. LOL I am not used to sharing my feelings and emotions on here...but to hear that you think I am a real writer - that really touches my heart. Maybe I need to be more open... 🙂
Jenn
I had planned on going to BlogHer but had to cancel because I am trying to save money during this transition...I wish I was going!!! And thank you for the compliment! 🙂
Jenn
Thank you so much, Marcie. xoxo I am going to treat first dates like press trips - walking into a room and meeting everyone for the first time! The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I give first impressions every time I go on a trip!
Carly Brydon
Thank you for sharing your story with us! I think you look great and it's exciting to be back in the dating world again (even after having your heart broken and getting a divorce). I'm sure you'll have great stories to share!
Marina John
I'm sad to hear about your Husband. Good that you're focusing your energy on getting back to you though! That's great!
Brandy
This is so interesting, and I am so sorry still about how the divorce stuff went down. Intense. I am glad you are hopping up and trying to move forward. I look forward to seeing how this works, very curious (not the divorce, LOL Been there done that) but the ultrashape!
Tonia @TheChattyMomma
I'm sorry you're going through such a difficult time. I'm glad that you are doing things for yourself and taking care of you! We all deserve to be happy in our lives and with our bodies. Your hair in the video is fab, by the way! I love the shine and bounce. Good luck on the stomach work. This procedure is one I would be first in line for.
Rocio Chavez (@yoursassyself)
Talk about looking at the silver lining! Good for you, that is awesome that you're getting back to taking care of you and making yourself look and feel fantastic!! Go girl, go!
Donna
Well at least you got a jump start on a new, even better you (although you're pretty dang awesome already)! What I mean is, so many times women start eating and giving up after something like this and then end up feeling so bad about themselves a year later. You are gonna be even hotter and your ex will be like, "What was I thinking letting her go?" 🙂
addi ganley
You got this! I know just how hard it can be. Heartbreak is a great diet aid. It's amazing how all of your favorites just don't appeal to you anymore when you are only eating to stay alive. You are stronger than this and you will win!. On another note, I wish I could get this ultrashape treatment!
Cnady O
Wow this procedure sounds awesome. I can't wait to see your after pictures! You're smoking hot Jen, work the room! 😉
Melissa @ This Girl's Life Blog
First off I just want to say, you look amazing. I hope you find in Ultrashape exactly what you are looking for to boost your confidence. 🙂
BL
Sorry to hear about your divorce. I'm his first wife. Not even sure how I found this post, it's the first time I've read your writing. The name looked familiar so I clicked on it. Anyway, you are an excellent writer and a beautiful person. I hate that any one would make a female feel like this. I'm shocked honestly. He always seemed like the nicest person in the world, well, second nicest, I've been married to the #1 for 16 years this month. Maybe he is being honest, maybe it's not you at all. He may be attracted to a different sex if you know what I mean. I don't know, I guess I just can't believe that a man would be that cruel to his wife, especially someone that always seemed so caring of others feelings. My stomach looks much like yours, I've had 3 c-sections. Even with my weight low, the belly never gets back right, always the shelf and loose skin. If I had to worry about trying to fix that it would be a problem. I say just worry about being YOU! Someone should love you for who you are, not your looks. Our looks will all fade one day, we will all get wrinkles and gray hair. If someone loves you, they should love you anyway...