Filing divorce is never easy. Whether you or your former spouse ended the relationship, it’s a sad time for everyone. A two-income household is now one and your companion is no longer there. Fortunately, transitioning to a new life on your own is possible.
Dealing with Emotions
If your spouse leaves, adjusting to life on your own will be harder. You may have many restless nights and days when crying happens often. Some people turn to alcohol or controlled substances to cover their grief and avoid reality. Unfortunately, masking the problem will not resolve it or allow you to get on with your life. If you continue to cover up your emotions by misusing drugs or alcohol, you can end up with a dependency. If this happens, intensive outpatient treatment is a great option that will allow you to kick the dangerous habit and move on.
Learning to Live Life Alone
Once you get beyond the emotional stage, it’s time to take back your life. You may want a change of venue to remove all traces of your failed relationship. Moving to a new place is exciting, especially when it’s all yours! You can paint walls, arrange furniture and decorate to your taste.
Importance of Credit
In some marriages, only the spouse worked. If this is the case, you probably don’t have a credit score. A great way to establish one is to apply for a secured credit card. They have a lower credit limit and, in most cases, you will need to put down a security deposit. However, after only 6 months you’ll reap the benefits. Maybe you and your spouse both worked, but your spouse mishandled the bills and now you have poor credit. Thankfully, you can work slowly to improve your score by paying bills timely and reducing debt.
If you were a full-time homemaker and mother, finding a job is of the utmost importance. While you will receive alimony and (depending on the age of your children) child support, you will need to support yourself. If you have enough to live on, for the time being, you can take a few classes online. Many careers only take a few years to earn a degree.
Filling the Void
After years of having someone to do things with, you are alone. However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t have fun. Rekindling ties with family members and friends and enjoying quality time with your children will help to fill the void. It’s also important to remember that the feelings of loneliness will subside. There is no instant bounce back, but time heals the wound.
Make Time for You
Initially, after a breakup, you will need to keep busy to avoid having feelings of emptiness and sadness. However, as time progresses, these feelings will subside and you will have time for the things you enjoy. Do crafts, paint, or grow a garden. Find a hobby that makes you feel at peace.
You may feel blue about the relationship, but don’t let yourself go. The best way to feel better is to practice self-care. Pamper yourself with a relaxing bath and your favorite scented candles. Join a gym and lose those extra inches. Eat healthy foods that help you maintain a desirable weight and restore energy.
Be the Bigger Person
If you have children, it’s important to not talk badly about the other parent. Children have enough to deal with. Your job is to keep them as happy as possible. Even if your former partner engages in this behavior, be the bigger person. Find ways to work together as a team, to raise your children.
Going through a divorce is difficult. However, it’s important to keep in mind that, just because this relationship failed, it doesn’t mean that you won’t find another person in the future who makes you feel special.