When Your Friends Think You Need to Calm The F Down

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Everyone and their mother has been adding me to these stupid LulaRoe Facebook parties and Facebook groups lately.

Here’s a tip: DON’T. I hate the brand.


Why do people want to cover their bodies from head to toe? Do you know how hot it is in Miami? Why would I purposely purchase clothing that is going to make me sweat more? Why would I intentionally cover up my amazing legs? I HAVE AWESOME LEGS!

Jenn Quillen on Danger Charters in Key West

I know that LulaRoe was founded/created/inspired – whatever – by Mormons. This isn’t about that. I admire their being modest as part of their religion. Hell, I admire anyone who’s modest just for the sake of being modest.

You do you, girl. Whatevs.

But that’s not me.

I like to show skin.

I like to show a lot of skin.

It’s pretty. It’s usually tanned, it’s freckled, I spend a ton of money inking it up to make it even more pretty. I LIKE SHOWING SKIN. Even on a cold Saint Patrick’s Day in NYC, I wore daisy dukes…and a sweater.

Jenn Quillen in NYC on Saint Patricks Day

I also really like showing my curves. It’s kinda my thing.

This morning I woke up to a friend who added me to yet another fucking LulaRoe Facebook group WITHOUT CONSULTING ME. I’ve known her for over a decade. Why she thought adding me was a good idea is beyond me. But I’m getting over a horrible case of strep and have zero patience for anything right now, so I went on a Facebook rampage.

I get it, I mean, my friends all want to see me settle down and find a nice guy and get remarried. Maybe I shouldn’t get a huge warrior goddess tattoo covering my entire upper arm. A guy friend asked me recently, “Aren’t you worried about the message that sends to the men you date?” and I was like “huh?” and he said, “You’re clearly not afraid of commitment.” Crap.

Aphrodite Warrior Goddess Tattoo

Maybe you shouldn’t be so brazen. Maybe you shouldn’t dress like that if you want to attract a boyfriend. I actually hear those things. Look, I dressed like a very modest wife while I was married and you know where that got me? DIVORCED. So now I wear what makes ME happy.

And who says I want to get remarried anyway? NOT ME! Does no one understand that this whole alimony thing is a REALLY BIG FUCKING DEAL? Do they not understand how hard I fought, what I went through in that marriage? The fact that I will be receiving enough in alimony to pay my mortgage until the house is paid off is a REALLY BIG DEAL. Why would I just throw all of that away to marry some dude who will probably just divorce me anyway? I am not against the idea of living with someone. I would like to meet someone amazing enough to fall in love with, move in with and have a home together one day.

But marriage is not an option for me. EVER. Even after the alimony runs out. I rode the crazy train of matrimony for fourteen years and that was enough.

My friends are all “come move over here by me, it’s such a great neighborhood!”

I look around and see families and kids…um? That’s not my life anymore. There’s no husband and Angeline turns 19 TODAY. She’s looking at apartments with her boyfriend. I don’t need a family-friendly neighborhood. I need a cute apartment downtown in a city somewhere bustling with excitement and fun.

My friends are like, “Keep your house! It’s great equity for your future!” My future of what? All the kids I don’t have? I plan on spending my retirement somewhere in Asia where it cost $10 a day to live. Or Mexico. Everyone seems to go to Mexico to start life over and live in huts on the beach. It doesn’t sound that bad. I do love tacos. And if none of that works out?

There’s always the convent.

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  1. says

    Jenn from start to finish I laughed! Woman after my own heart❤️ Loved this share. I agree from top to bottom. Live your life as it makes you happy. I can’t stand when others and so called friends at that try to convince you that what you like really isn’t what you like. WHAT THE HELL! Was I not clear enough? I touch a lot on these subjects on my blog. SMH so good for you!!!! Love the new art work congrats on your baby now turning 19 mine is 21. Single is awesome if that’s what you want and when the right partner comes along if at all yes great if not great too!!!! Stay blessed keep sharing xo

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