I just turned 39 and I don't hate it.

They say that we should live our lives in a constant state of self improvement, self growth. It wasn't until I was in my 30s and found myself with an almost grown child, a marriage ending, and a brand new, thriving career before I began to fully understand the importance of doing this.

My life is very much the same as it was three years ago, but it is simultaneously completely different. For the first time ever, I put myself first. I still do all that I can to ensure the happiness of those I care for, but I am my highest priority.

I found myself taking a risk, crossing an ocean...just because I could. Because I wanted to explore what was out there. I wanted to push myself to the limit and see what would happen. I went to visit a friend that I've been getting really close to for the last few months. Yes. I went across the world to see a guy.

Welcome to my bat shit insane life. 

April 20th was my birthday. My 39th birthday. While my friends and family shout their love for me from across the Atlantic, I was sitting at a cafe on the Adriatic Sea, sipping prosecco and writing.

My friend had to work all day, and I was left to spend my birthday alone.

I spend most of my time alone, especially since I work from home, but I really wanted my birthday to be different. My birthdays are REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT to me.

I was disappointed that he wasn't able to spend my birthday with me, but he promised to take me out that night when he got off work. I tried to make the best of the situation and had an amazing afternoon drinking that prosecco and letting the view inspire my writing.

I wrote this while I was sitting there that day:

I'll have the company of a dear friend shortly, but for now? For now, this is MY moment. It's the beginning of a brand new Taurus season. It's the dawn of a new age, one in which I know who I am, what I want and what legnths I am willing to go to to ensure that this next year allows me the space I require to shine.

To grow.

To improve.

To shine like the star I am.