Have you lost touch with a family member or a friend? Maybe you’re planning an epic family reunion but you don’t know if your relative has changed their name, moved to a new city, or started work in a new industry, so you’re struggling to track them down.
Here are some tips to help.
- Don’t Get Back in Touch if the Other Person Cut Contact
Often, friends drift apart, or relatives lose touch because there’s a falling-out elsewhere in the family.
But if the person you want to be in touch with deliberately cut off contact with you, then think hard before trying to find them. Even if you feel they were in the wrong, you should respect their boundaries.
If you do need to get an important message to them, consider sending it through an intermediary – a friend or family member who isn’t involved in the conflict.
- Try Different Spellings of Their Name
Even if you’re convinced that you have the right spelling, it’s worth trying alternative spellings of the person’s name – both first name and surname. As private investigator Brian Willingham explains, “I frequently see people getting hung up on the spelling of names, where they thought they had a high degree of certainty about the spelling only to be proven wrong.”
You may also find that the name you knew someone by isn’t their legal name. For instance, perhaps they went by a middle name rather than their first name, or maybe they used a shortened form of their surname.
- Find a Friend or Relative Who’s Incarcerated (e.g. in Tennessee)
Is there a chance that your friend or relative is in prison or jail? You can find them in an online inmate database, by lookingup in Tennessee or any other state. Running an inmate search lets you find people with the same name, and you may be able to figure out who your friend is by other details – e.g. their date of birth.
- Think of As Many Facts as You Can
Where did the person go to school and university? Where did they work? Where were they born? Any of these details could help you find them and verify that you’ve got the correct person.
School yearbooks or alumni associations can be a good starting point for finding someone’s contact details. Another great option is to reach out to people who might be joint contacts. For instance, if you’re trying to track down a high school classmate, you might get in touch with other classmates who may still have contact information for them.
- Search Social Networks (Not Just Facebook)
While Facebook is the biggest social network out there, it’s not the only one! Not everyone is on Facebook … and even if your lost friend or relative does have an account, it may be very tricky to find them unless they have an unusual name.
You might also want to try LinkedIn, where people are more likely to list their educational and work history – making it easier to track them down. You could also try Instagram and Twitter.
- Try Government Records
You can look for court records and/or marriage records online to see if you can find any information about your friend. For instance, if you had a classmate who might have married and changed their name, then marriage records should let you find out what they’ve likely changed it to. Some states let you search these online, though you may need to visit the county clerk’s office or a records department in person.
It can take time to track down a friend or relative – but if you want to reconnect, then the time you spend on this will likely be very worthwhile. Try the above tips to make the process of finding your lost friend or relative easier.
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