Modern dating is a baptism of fire for the uninitiated. From dick pics to ghosting and catfishing, there’s a lot that can go wrong on the path to true love. Most singles soon discover that dating apps are populated with people who have very little interest in committing to an actual date. In fact, it’s all but impossible to get them to commit to answering your messages in a timely fashion!

Checking Up on a Date: The Do’s and Dont’s

But let’s skip over the horrors of dating apps and skip straight to the point where you have a first, second, or third date lined up. We get it, you may be bowled over by their charm and willingness to splash their Amex card, but put the wedding plans on hold for a hot minute. Just because this person seems nice and normal, it doesn’t mean they are not a wolf in sheep’s clothing. So, before you fall madly in love (or lust), do yourself a favor and check them out. If it makes you feel any better, they are probably doing the same to you.

Checking Up on a Date: The Do’s and Dont’s

Do Check their Social Media

Most people have a social media presence, so it’s pretty easy to look a date up online and see what kind of person they appear to be. If they are security conscious, they may have their social feeds locked down, but feel free to send them an add request. If they say no, it could be they have something to hide.

Don’t Stalk Their Workplace

It’s not OK to go over to their workplace and sit behind a plant in the lobby, just so you can make sure they actually work there. You have to take what a date says at face value unless there is any suggestion they are lying. So, if they say they are an investment banker, believe them unless they ask you to pay for the meal.

Do Verify their Details

Since catfishing is a thing, it doesn’t hurt to verify a date’s identity, address, etc. Use a service like Nuwber.com to check their name, address, and other personal information matches up. You can cross-check their name against public databases, such as police databases and property ownership records. One simple check could save you from a whole world of pain.

Don’t Go Through Their Trash

Please don’t go over to their home address late at night and rifle through the trash in search of incriminating evidence. Not unless you want to get arrested.

Do Ask a Few Questions

Dating means getting to know someone. It’s fine to ask questions. This is how we discover the real person behind the sexy photos and amusing bio. Delve deeper into their interests, likes, dislikes, and future dreams. If they like you, they will want to learn all there is to know about you, too.

Don’t Subject Them to a Lie Detector Test

Questions are good, but the Spanish Inquisition is not. Don’t invite them over to your place and ask them to take a lie detector test. If your trust issues are really that bad, you need a therapist, not a date.

Finally, listen to your gut. If something feels a bit “off” about a date, even if you can’t quite put your finger on what the problem is, walk away. Our instincts are usually spot on, so don’t ignore your sixth sense.