Unmentionable Essentials for Your Next Vacation

Why does no one ever talk about constipation? We hear even less on the subject of diarrhea. Don’t blush. This is just the cold hard reality of being human. In an episode of Star Trek, humans were once referred to by a crystalline race as ugly bags of mostly water. That is a painfully accurate description. And you know what happens to ugly bags of mostly water who go on vacation? They all too often have trouble with their guts. That trouble surfaces in the form of constipation or diarrhea. Either way, it is painful, miserable, and in polite conversation, unmentionable. Just know that you are not alone.

Unmentionable Essentials for Your Next Vacation

So when you go on vacation, there are some things you can do to help reduce the problem to the size of something manageable. You don’t have to spend every moment of the trip wondering how far away you are from the nearest bathroom. One way to do that is to download an app that literally tells you how far away you are from the nearest relief station. There are also pharmaceuticals that can help. You are not without options. Those aren’t even the only unmentionables you have to deal with. Here is a quick checklist of things you would rather not talk about but don’t want to leave home without:

Pain Relief

Maybe your BFF knows you use CBD oil for pain. But there is a good chance that isn’t something you bring up with most people you chat with on a regular basis. I get it, no one wants to be stigmatized because of a personal choice that is frankly no one else’s business. Your pain management is between you and your doctor. 

Just remember that the time you run out of CBD will always be the most inconvenient, like just before a trip. You could have sworn you packed a spare bottle. Be sure you know exactly where to buy CBD oil in the place where you are going. You might find that it is more plentiful and easy to acquire than you first imagined. 

It has been used around the world for a long time. Many pain specialists prescribe it to their patients. It has been judged to be safe and effective. Some people swear by it. While nothing has exactly the same effect on everyone, it is one of the safer things to try before opting for surgery. You don’t have to talk about it to anyone. Just make sure you pack a spare bottle.

Juicing and Cleansing

When was the last time you did a juice cleansing? Are you chugging a growler of juice even as you read these words? Don’t feel weird. You are not alone. It is a thing a lot of people do after a vacation to detoxify after binging during a vacation. Here’s the thing: It is okay to juice while you are on vacation. You don’t have to eat and drink everything in sight. It is past time we stop treating a few days away from home as excuses for bad, dietary behavior. If you can’t pack your favorite detox, find a juice bar where you are going and celebrate by not making yourself sick and gross. 

Birth Control

According to the CDC, about 1 in 5 travelers have sex with a new partner while in a foreign country. Traveling can be a little intoxicating, causing people to do things that they might otherwise abstain from doing at home. Failure to pack condoms and birth control could lead to unintended consequences that cannot be easily reversed. 

One of those consequences is contracting a sexually transmitted disease. The good news is that most of them are merely inconvenient, not to mention a little embarrassing. No one talks about getting diagnosed with an STD while catching up with their buddies around the water cooler. Although, if they saw the ointment in your bag, they would know exactly what it was for. If you don’t want to deal with that unmentionable, then pack the protection before seeking adventure.

CBD oil, juice cleansing, and condoms get about as much discussion and serious contemplation as toenail fungus ointments. Whether or not you wish to mention them, don’t forget about them. They are the kind of essentials common to practically all of us ugly bags of mostly water.