When I was a kid, I remember constantly interrupting my mother when she was on the phone, telling her “that’s not how it happened,” and “that’s not right!!” – you know what I’m talking about, right?
She would get so frustrated, telling me to mind my own business, to stop butting into her conversations, etc. At the time, I thought that what I was doing was totally normal and acceptable…that I belonged in every conversation. Such is the insanity of children, huh?
Oh how that has come back to bite me in the ass!
The other day, while we were in the drive thru line at Wendy’s getting root beer floats, the drive thru attendant asked – with a smirk on his face, no less – if the car I was driving was mine or my husband’s.
I was driving my husband’s Pontiac GTO.
Of course, I answered without hesitation, “We share it.”
Which, of course, was a bold faced lie. But when a pimply teenage boy implies that you couldn’t possibly be cool enough to own a Pontiac GTO, there are really only two ways to respond.
1. You can rev your engine and speed off, leaving him holding his ears as your exhaust system ruptures his eardrums. Or…
2. You lie and say it’s your car.
Being that I really wanted my root beer float – DUDE, THEY MAKE IT WITH VANILLA FROSTY!!!! – I lied.
And of course, because Karma is a big fat b!tch, Angeline immediately called me on it. I couldn’t get that window up fast enough before she blurted out, “I thought you hated Daddy’s car!”
Which is kind of true, but not entirely.
I love driving the GTO because it makes me feel like a bad ass. Zoom zoom!
I hate that I am so short that the seat belt lies against my neck and I am in constant fear of being decapitated, should I have an accident. I hate that the car has that sporty supsension and every turn I make feels like I am trying to maneuver a big rig.
But…I love the look on guy’s faces when they are admiring the car and then realize there’s a chick behind the wheel.
I just have to remember that the next time I pretend to be loving the GTO, there’s not a big mouthed kid sitting in the passenger seat…