We said goodbye to a dear friend on Saturday. Kirk was one of those people, the kind of man that became your best friend five minutes after meeting him. He was the kind of guy that made you feel completely at ease, the kind of guy who had you laughing hysterically, clutching your side, a little bit afraid that you were going to pee your pants in front of everyone - usually over an off handed comment that you can't even remember ten minutes later.
Kirk was a joy to be around.
He was that kind of guy. You know, the kind that you might only see at your friend's backyard BBQ every few months, but thought about all the time. The kind of guy that made you actually went to those backyard BBQs, even though they were an hour away and it was raining, because you knew he would be there and you wanted to eat his queso and bask in the warmth of his smile.
At Kirk's memorial this weekend, Chris hugged his partner and said "thanks for sharing him with us."
That's the kind of guy Kirk was, the kind of guy you knew you were lucky to have even been able to know, even if it was only for a few years.
We realized at his memorial that we hardly saw Kirk in the last two years. My friend always hosted Sunday Fundays in her backyard, and we'd drive up from Miami to hang out. I think we might have done it three times in the last year. We were talking about how we hardly did it anymore, and she reminded me, "Because Kirk got sick."
While he was battling cancer, he wasn't in any condition to be coming to backyard BBQs, daytime drinking and splashing in the pool. While we all remained friends, chatted through IM, talked on the phone and did manage to see each other every once in a while, things changed. I never realized what an important part Kirk played in those Sunday Fundays until she said it out loud. It's totally true. While we were friends for years before meeting Kirk, he really did something to our group, and I guess we were all just a little less excited to get together, knowing that he was sick and wouldn't be up to joining us.
I guess what I am trying to get at is that we all need to make more time in our busy lives for the people we love. We take time for granted.
We think that we will see our friends later, have dinner another night, reschedule that coffee date...and then they get sick, or get hit by a car, or have a heart attack, and we realize just how much time we wasted being too busy to see them. We think that there's plenty of time, we will see them later...
There's never enough time.
As I've been reminded by Kirk's death, life is short. Sometimes it's unfairly short and the people we love are taken from us far too soon.
Make time for the people you love!
Amanda Her
I'm so sorry for your loss, and at the same time I am truly going to take your words to heart. We DO tend to take our friends and family for granted, and we never know how long we're going to have with them. Thanks for the perspective.
Jenn
Thank you! I have always tried to live my life like every day is my last day, but every time something like this happens, I realize that there is more I can do, you know? I went and had lunch with one of my best friends today, even though I had a ton to do - I'm going to start really making time for friends and family, no matter what!
Fatima
You're 100% right... we should always make time for those you love. I always tell people to appreciate those in your life because when they're no longer with us, you'll wish they were. Great post and based on what you've said about your dear friend, he seemed like an interesting person.
Robin (Masshole Mommy)
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I have a few friends like that - ones I see a few times a year at random parties or whatnot. You definitely inspired me to spend more time with them because you just never know.
Cara
Thanks for the reminder that we need to nurture our friendships and keep them going and not let them slide off the burner of our busy lives. So sorry for your loss.
Mickey
I'm so sorry for your loss. Kirk sounds like he was an amazing person and I'm sure that many people loved him and will miss him.
Lindsey
I am so sorry for your loss. I am keeping you in my thoughts!
Virginia
So sorry for your loss. You're right, there is never enough time.
Isabella Grey
How true this is. My best friend has battled cancer twice now, and during each of those fights, our time together has been the most precious of gifts. I am so so sorry for the loss you have suffered. I know just how difficult it can be.
Tammy
Wise words - we truly need to organize our lives so people come first, all the rest will fall into place or can be replaced, but those connections and relationships are all each once in a lifetime ones.
Kecia
I'm so sorry for your loss, and your post is spot on. We get caught up in our busy daily lives that we forget to take time our for those that we love!
Amanda Love
So sorry for your loss and you're right. Sometimes we do take things for granted, we think that we have all the time in the world while we really don't. I always say, enjoy your kids and your friends/family, while you can because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
Jessica - Fused Life
This is beautifully written. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us!
Brett
yea, we all need to take this to heart. not just for your kirk, but for all of our kirks.
i hope you guys make and eat a ridiculous amount of his queso at your next get together
Jaime
I'm so sorry for your loss - and for your group's loss. I hate that I tend to be "too busy" to enjoy my friends regularly and that definitely needs to change.
Jessica
I am so sorry for your loss. I completely agree with you in more ways that one. Sometimes it takes losing a person to truly realize how much they mean to us and how big of an impact they have had on our lives. It's important to cherish each and every moment we have with our loved ones. Tomorrow is promised to no one.
Janel
What a great honor to his memory to remind others with this post to stop and pay attention. I know I needed this reminder!
Janeane Davis
I am sorry to read about your loss. You offer great advice, make time for the ones you love.
Pauline Cabrera
I'm so sorry for your loss Jenn. Another Cancer.. 🙁 But I do agree with your advice, never take time for granted. Life is too short, and that's what I always say to myself. I always try my best to spend quality time with my family.
Paige
I'm sorry for your loss. You are definitely right in that we take time for granted. Before we know it, its over and there's no getting it back.
Melinda
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so important to stay connected to those that mean the most. Don't wait till it's too late to let them know how much they mean to you.
Jennifer E Bullock
Wow. I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost my husband's father suddenly right before Christmas last year. It really makes you want to make every minute count. xoxoox Love ya girl!
Joanna Sormunen
I am sorry for your loss. And it is so true. We should not take time for granted or the people around us. Or it might be too late.
Amy Desrosiers
I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved friend!! things like this make you realize that life is unpredictable!
Cassie
Cancer is so hard to watch people pass away from, my father-in-law had it and watching him battle that was one of the worst experiences for my husband. I'm sorry for your loss 🙁
Liz
I'm so sorry that you lost an important person in your life. After my dad died from a fall, I realize how precious each moment with the ones we love is. You never know when the last time could be.
Autumn
Oh, I am so sorry that you've lost such a great friend! Cancer is a horrible affliction. Thank you for the reminders - not only that life is short, but also that our lives do make an impact on the people around us. It sounds like Kirk made a great impact on everyone he met!
Jamie
I'm so sorry for you loss, I think we all have friends like this...and you are exactly right in the fact we need to make time...we never know when we will loss a loved one.
Angela
I am so very sorry for your loss. Thanks for the reminder to treasure every moment with the people we love.
April
So sorry for your loss. Life is so short and precious!
Ashley M
I love that you took the time to honor your friend with something you do so well. I am sorry for your loss but glad that you took this moment to revaluate your priorities.