We said goodbye to a dear friend on Saturday. Kirk was one of those people, the kind of man that became your best friend five minutes after meeting him. He was the kind of guy that made you feel completely at ease, the kind of guy who had you laughing hysterically, clutching your side, a little bit afraid that you were going to pee your pants in front of everyone – usually over an off handed comment that you can’t even remember ten minutes later.
Kirk was a joy to be around.
He was that kind of guy. You know, the kind that you might only see at your friend’s backyard BBQ every few months, but thought about all the time. The kind of guy that made you actually went to those backyard BBQs, even though they were an hour away and it was raining, because you knew he would be there and you wanted to eat his queso and bask in the warmth of his smile.
At Kirk’s memorial this weekend, Chris hugged his partner and said “thanks for sharing him with us.”
That’s the kind of guy Kirk was, the kind of guy you knew you were lucky to have even been able to know, even if it was only for a few years.
We realized at his memorial that we hardly saw Kirk in the last two years. My friend always hosted Sunday Fundays in her backyard, and we’d drive up from Miami to hang out. I think we might have done it three times in the last year. We were talking about how we hardly did it anymore, and she reminded me, “Because Kirk got sick.”
While he was battling cancer, he wasn’t in any condition to be coming to backyard BBQs, daytime drinking and splashing in the pool. While we all remained friends, chatted through IM, talked on the phone and did manage to see each other every once in a while, things changed. I never realized what an important part Kirk played in those Sunday Fundays until she said it out loud. It’s totally true. While we were friends for years before meeting Kirk, he really did something to our group, and I guess we were all just a little less excited to get together, knowing that he was sick and wouldn’t be up to joining us.
I guess what I am trying to get at is that we all need to make more time in our busy lives for the people we love. We take time for granted.
We think that we will see our friends later, have dinner another night, reschedule that coffee date…and then they get sick, or get hit by a car, or have a heart attack, and we realize just how much time we wasted being too busy to see them. We think that there’s plenty of time, we will see them later…
There’s never enough time.
As I’ve been reminded by Kirk’s death, life is short. Sometimes it’s unfairly short and the people we love are taken from us far too soon.
Make time for the people you love!