Last night was our final night of Lifetime's 7 Days of Sex Challenge.
We had a mock vow-renewal ceremony. How did our ceremony go? Well...honestly, we laughed through the entire thing. I know, I know, not very romantic.
So...it's been a week of concentrating on sexy time with the hubs, and now our challenge is over.
What have we learned? Actually, we've learned a lot.
While our marriage wasn't in crisis mode like some of the couples who are going to be showcased on the Lifetime series 7 Days of Sex, romance was an area that we definitely needed to work on. I mentioned in my first post leading up to the series that my husband travels a lot for work; he's actually gone 50% of the time. Right now, he is on a little bit of a hiatus from traveling, so it really was perfect timing for this challenge!
We've been together for 11 years...and our relationship has had its ups and downs, but we are doing pretty well.
We love each other and we try to focus on one another. But, like many couples, romance has kind of fallen by the wayside in the past year while we've dealt with his travel schedule, my daughter's entry into the teen years, family tragedies, my increasing involvement in the blogging world...and life in general. We've been together for over a decade (HOLY CRAP, THAT'S A LONG TIME!) and honestly, we were in kind of a romantic lull. We still enjoyed being intimate, but it wasn't a priority anymore.
I wanted to change that.
What I really wanted to accomplish with the Lifetime 7 Days of Sex challenge was to reconnect with my husband on an intimate level - and yes, I realize that you don't need to have sex to be intimate - but it certainly doesn't hurt. Sex is how most couples bond, and we are no different. There is just something about that physical intimacy that makes us feel close to each other, and the feeling is one that is hard to replicate in other ways.
There's a reason why you just can't get enough of each other when a relationship is new. There's a reason why newlyweds stay in bed for most of their honeymoons. I know that there are people who will disagree with me, and that there are couples who don't have sex very often - some who never have sex at all for medical reasons - but this is my personal opinion based on my experiences, and a little bit based on science.
Sex is important to a healthy romantic relationship.
I'm going to quote an article I found on How Stuff Works - and yes, it is based on actual scientific research! You can read the entire article here, but I am just going to quote the part that related to my post.
"In romantic love, when two people have sex, oxytocin is released, which helps bond the relationship. According to researchers at the University of California, San Francisco, the hormone oxytocin has been shown to be "associated with the ability to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships and healthy psychological boundaries with other people." When it is released during orgasm, it begins creating an emotional bond -- the more sex, the greater the bond."
I've always known this, I've probably read articles like this since I was first married. And for me, I know it to be true. Over the past week, while participating in the 7 Days of Sex Challenge, I've noticed something - I feel closer to my husband.
Sure, we've struggled to make it happen on days when we were tired, cranky or not feeling so hot. But I can't deny the results of the challenge: not only do I feel closer to my husband, but I feel happier.
And while 7 straight days of sex might seem like a bit much - it really wasn't all that difficult to pull off. Why don't you try it for yourself? You'd be amazed at the results!
I have a few tips that worked for us that I'd like to share:
- Turn off the television and put away your cell phone. When there's no distraction, it's a lot easier to get into the mood.
- Flirt. Flirt. And then flirt some more. It's easier to get excited about sex when you set the mood!
- Get creative. Light a candle, wear something sexy, turn on some music. Those little things help to spice things up!
- Say yes even when you don't want to. You never know what you might be missing...
And just an FYI...quickies totally count.
Lifetime's 7 days of Sex premiered last week with episode one...and tonight is an all new episode! Check it out on the Lifetime Channel at 10 pm eastern time...I'm curious to see if this week's couple can handle the challenge!
I received a survival kit to use while participating in the Lifetime 7 Days of Sex Challenge. All opinions are my own!