Day 2 of Lifetime's 7 Days of Sex Challenge happened to be on a very, very busy day for us.
My daughter and I returned our foster kitten to the shelter to be spayed and adopted out, picked up two new foster kittens, brought them home...went to the Miami Rescue Mission to drop off some sporting goods for the Youth Center, then came home, made lunch, baked brownies, went grocery shopping for my birthday party, I made Jell-O shots - we were so busy the entire day that my daughter and I forgot about her appointment at the podiatrist's office!...then my husband and I got dressed up and went to my birthday party.
I walked around with that Cheese Wiz container almost the entire night! Sexy, right?
I was actually kind of worried that we wouldn't be able to uphold the challenge on Day 2 because I knew that we would be coming home late from the party...and after a crazy day like the one we had, romance would be the last thing on our minds!
The prompt for day 2 of Lifetime's 7 Days of Sex Challenge was "He's on Top" My husband was supposed to take the lead on lighting the spark, using whatever he wanted from our survival kit.
The funny thing about that is that we actually have a bit of an issue with that in our relationship. By "that" I mean my husband telling me what he wants. My husband is one of those sweethearts that when you ask them, "what do you want to do tonight?" they always reply "whatever you want." I was worried that he wouldn't feel comfortable following the prompt, but I felt it was really important for him to do so.
Now, sometimes this can be a good thing. I always get to pick what movies we see. I always choose a restaurant. I usually choose our vacation destinations myself, and the entire house has been decorated to my liking. Just so you know, I always ask him about all of these things, but he always tells me that whatever I want is fine, so I end up making a lot of the decisions on things that pertain to us as a couple and as a family.
I know, ladies, he's one of a kind, right?!
But after being together for so long, I find that it is hard to keep things new and fresh in a relationship when one person is always so selfless and doesn't ask for anything. So I was really, really hoping that we would be able to participate in Day 2 of the challenge because this is a really important step in the challenge for us - getting my husband to tell me what he wanted.
Getting my husband to open up about what he wants applies to all areas of our lives - not just romantically. I want him to be happy, I want him to be fulfilled, and I want to know that he is getting just as much out of our lives together as I am getting. He's made such sacrifices for our family, allowing me to quit working and stay home while he supports our family. I would hate to think that after supporting me in doing something that makes me so happy that I can't do whatever it is he wants that will make him happy.
I shouldn't have been worried about neither of us wanting to be romantic, because that was not an issue when we got home in the wee hours of the morning...I don't know if it was the cocktails, the dancing to 80's music or playing beer can bowling, but the mood was just right! Maybe I should wear blue eye shadow and pigtails more often...
I asked him what he wanted and as usual, he told me that whatever I wanted was fine.
But I didn't take no for an answer. I basically tortured him (don't worry, no husbands were harmed in the making of this post) until he gave in and actually voiced his preference! In the end, we ended up using the beautiful candle that was sent to us to set a little ambiance. By that time, it was raining outside, so it set the perfect atmosphere; the soft sound of rain on the roof and the gentle glow of the candlelight on the nightstand...
Sorry, that's as graphic as it's gonna get, folks.
What we took away from Day 2 of Lifetime's 7 Days of Sex Challenge was this: be honest. Communicate. Open up and express yourself, in and out of the bedroom.
The key to maintaining any relationship in your life is communication.
My husband and I went through a bit of a rough patch about 5 years ago, and what led us down that unfortunate path was a lack of communication. The thing that got us through it? Communication. If you are open and honest and willing to talk to your partner about the things that you want and need, there is very little room for misunderstanding. The more open you are, the easier it is to initiate sex because you don't have to wonder where their head is - you will know. Igniting that spark is a lot easier when you know how your partner feels about certain things.
When we communicate open and honestly, I find that it makes me more comfortable being assertive and taking the lead. I don't feel silly or embarrassed. I feel confident.
And as we all know, confidence is a very attractive quality!
If you haven't seen Lifetime's 7 Days of Sex yet, you should check it out! Each week, there is a new couple participating in the challenge. It's really encouraging to see other couples as they go through the challenge - if they can do it, and I can do it, so can you! Why don't you try taking the challenge yourself?
*I received a survival kit to use to participate in Lifetime's 7 Days of Sex Challenge. All opinions are my own!