I’ve seen a lot of articles recently talking about the negative association between women and “mommy bloggers” or “mom bloggers.” These articles have been all over the Internet and I’ve seen so many arguments for, against and the “I don’t care” attitude that I began to ponder…am I a Mommy Blogger?
What exactly is a “Mommy Blogger” anyway?
The general consensus is that any mother that blogs about her children is considered by some in the Public Relations world to be a “Mommy Blogger.” A lot of bloggers don’t like that.
Why? One argument I saw was based on the fact that it’s derogatory to call someone “Mommy” unless that person is in fact, your mommy. When I first started hearing this term, I thought nothing of it. I live in Miami. We have a very heavy Spanish population. “Mami” is a term of endearment. Strangers in the supermarket call me Mami. My daughter’s teachers have called her Mami. It’s just how we roll.
The more involved I became in the blogging community, the more I began to understand why bloggers dislike this term so much.
It can be seen as condescending. Bloggers – no matter what the subject – want a little respect. Sure, we might not be on the same level of journalists as newspaper and magazine writers, but we are still writers. Women want to know why we have to be categorized as Mommy Bloggers the second we post a pic of our baby in their first Halloween costume. Why can’t we just be called “bloggers?”
Do men who have children become automatically labeled as Daddy Bloggers the second they mention their son’s football game on their blog? NO.
And THAT is where the problem lies.
By calling someone a “mommy blogger”, it seems to imply that the blogger isn’t serious about anything other than being a mommy. Personally, I have never seen a blog that revolves solely around a blogger’s children – it’s usually a mix of everything going on in their lives.
When I talk to PR companies, I tell them that I am a general lifestyle blogger with a focus on travel. Travel is my THING. Duh, what’s my tag line? Rebel Chick’s Journey. I’ve worked hard to focus on travel, and I’ve written a ton about it. If you compare my posts about my daughter to my posts about travel, you’ll find the majority are travel related. So am I considered a mommy blogger? Am I considered a mom blogger? For some reason, the term “mom blogger” doesn’t bother me as much as “mommy” does…maybe it’s because my daughter is older and doesn’t call me “mommy” anymore – so why should anyone else?
My daughter is almost 14, and while she is the biggest part of my life, I don’t blog specifically about her very often. But as a mother – my entire life revolves around her. She sneaks into my blog in such subtle ways that I don’t even notice. Why? Because I am a mom. It’s what moms do, we love our kids and brag about them to anyone who will listen. When I write about my travels, part of that includes making arrangements for her while I am gone, or what trips we are taking together as a family. She’s the biggest part of my life, so it’s only natural that she be mentioned here and there, even if a post isn’t about her.
Does that make me a “mommy blogger” – I don’t know. It makes me a blogger who loves her kid. If you want to call me a “mom blogger” then that’s okay, but please pay enough attention to my blog to see that I write about everything that happens in my life, not just something funny that my daughter says.
End of story.
I find absolutely nothing condescending about the term mommy blogger. I am flattered to have someone refer to me as a mom first and proud that that is the name I Can carry on in social media. There is nothing more important to me than my children and to be labeled that way makes me smile.
It does not lesson who I am, the work I do, what I know, or the relationships I have with other bloggers or PR as a result. It does not take away my income, but in fact, on most levels, creates it. In the end, the only one that actually defines me, is…well…me.
trisha
I don’t like the term either. I am a mom. I blog. I actually don’t mind even being called a “Mom Blogger” but the term “Mommy Blogger” grates on my nerves. If my kids were smaller (they are 15 and 21 lol), maybe the term wouldn’t bother me so much, I don’t know.
That is an excellent point about the dads though. It doesn’t seem right to label any female blogger with a child as a mommy blogger, since the same isn’t done for a man with children.
Great post!
I don’t know what it is about the mommy vs mom thing – but I feel the same way. If my daughter still called me MOMMY, it probably wouldn’t bother me!
My kids are adults and I’m often labeled a mommy blogger. I prefer blogger. I’d love for someone to call me mommy, but that part of my life was over about 20 years (and that’s just sad :()
While I could understand how it can be annoying – I think it depends on the blogger’s point of view and, heavily, on how the term is used by the person using it. Any word can be made derogatory all by the way in which it is said. I’ve seen it used very respectfully by the media when talking about the rise in popularity of mom bloggers and I’ve seen it used in a snarky way by so called ‘real’ bloggers who don’t like parent blogs. It’s all about the presentation for me.
That being said – all in all, I don’t mind the label. If 2000 people refer to me as a “Mommy Blogger” it doesn’t change how I write, how my readers feel or if I get work. Equally, if 2000 people refer to me as just a ‘blogger’ then it’s not going to make me more popular or get me more opportunities.
My kids are 20 and 23 an I’m still considered a “Mommy Blogger” in some circles even though I am a Lifestyle Blogger. But it really doesn’t bother me at all. I talk about my kids, grandkids, step-kids, and my other “babies” my doggies, along with all the other things going on in my life. As long is somebody is reading my blog, I don’t care what they call me. =)
I actually don’t mind the term at all. One term couldn’t possibly encompass who I am as a person but I do get why some people get offended.
I don’t mind the term at all! But, I actually have littles that call me mommy, maybe that’s why?! Great post 🙂
“As long is somebody is reading my blog, I don’t care what they call me. =)” I love that & totally agree 🙂 They can call me ‘that weird redhead with bad typos’ if they want – as long as they read. lol
True! What’s that saying, “I don’t care what you call me, as long as you call me”
I didn’t become a mom until 40, so I think I pretty much established my “self” beforehand. I write about food & home decorating/renovation far more than my daughter. I rejected the term mom blogger for quite some time, but then said WTH and went with it.
I think it’s all in the way the term is used. I don’t mind being called a mom blogger or a mommy blogger as long as it’s used in such a way that it’s not condescending or looked down upon. I’m with kenda – I don’t care what you call me, as long as you call me.
I just realized the post prior to this has a huge picture of my daughter & I am talking about back-to-school. LOL
I’m not a mom and have never been a mom but because I’m a woman who has a blog I’ve been called a “Mommy Blogger” and it does bother me. I don’t have anything against those that like to be called mommy bloggers and I don’t mean any disrespect but the term puts you in a different category and you’re treated differently. Some brands and reps want to work with you because you’re a mommy blogger and some will avoid you because they don’t think you take your work seriously.
I have heard the term “mommy blogger” used in a derogatory manner. “Oh she’s just a mommy blogger” with a tone that says it all. But these same people I believe wouldn’t necessarily separate mom blogger from mommy blogger.
I don’t mind what people call me so long as they call me LOL.
Seriously though, I think it’s one thing to define myself as something and another to be bothered by what someone else calls me. I don’t let it bother me unless it affects a business relationship.
I chuckled today after receiving an email addressed to “Dear Mommy Blogger” today and I wondered if YOU received that same email.