There comes a time in every woman’s life when she has to grow a pair and say it like it is. One thing my closest friends can all say about me is that I am straightforward. I find that this is the best way to be…it leaves little room for miscommunication and misunderstanding. It makes life simple. I always say what I mean and mean what I say. Why wouldn’t I?
I often find myself catching people in lies. Perhaps that’s a bit harsh. I often catch people exaggerating, lying, or confusing the truth. I find it hard not to call them out on these untruths. Sometimes I do. But I choose my battles wisely. People are easily embarrassed when being accused of lying. It can cause such awkwardness that it slowly destroys a friendship.
There is a person in my life who tells little white lies consistently. Sometimes they are big fat lies. I think they may have a problem – pathological liar, senile, confused – not sure what their issue is, but there is definitely an underlying issue. The lies serve no purpose, gain this person nothing. I have brought it up casually a few times over the years and they seem dumbfounded. I don’t know if its part of an act or further proof that there is something actually “wrong” with this person.
This affects me greatly. I can’t take anything they say seriously, because there is no way of knowing when they are telling the truth. Most of the conversations are trivial but some are serious topics that have great bearing on our lives. At what point do you approach someone and tell them that you think they have a problem? Can I do an intervention for lying? The lies aren’t really hurting anyone at this point – because no one believes them anyway – but what if there is a situation where these lies actually cause damage?
What if this person lies about me? What if they lie about my family? I recently purchased a home fraught with issues and also quit my job to stay home for a while. What kinds of lies are they spreading about these happenings in my life? If they are strangling the truth, as they are so apt to do, there could be some very unpleasant consequences for my family.
Is it worth it to confront this person? Should I leave this issue for their spouse or family members to deal with? Is it my place to even approach the topic? And why do I find myself a staunch defender of honesty for honesty’s sake? Perhaps I should just drop it, just wait and see.
I know exactly what you are talking about. It sucks, because from my perspective I feel like I can’t trust this person, and I want to badly.
I think it is worth it to confront them. What use is the friendship if you cannot trust the other person? I hate when I cannot trust a person.
Wow, this post is from April 2010! I don’t know what happened, it somehow got republished today!