Have you seen that 90’s movie starring Julia Stiles, that kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun and Heath Ledger? When I say “that kid from 3rd Rock from the Sun” I don’t mean that in a condescending-he-doesn’t-matter sort of way. We all saw 500 days of Summer with him and Zooey Deschanel. We love Joseph Gordon-Levitt, I know. But back then, no one knew his name and that’s what we called him. Admit it.
By the way, not for nothing, but he grew up into a total hottie, right? I never saw that one coming!
You loved the movie 10 Things I Hate About You, right? Me too. It rocked. Yeah, well, this isn’t about the movie.
Although, I could ramble on about what an incredible actress Julia Stiles is All. Day. Long. I even forgave her for The Prince and Me.
But that is not what I want to talk about today. A few week ago, I was having dinner with some other bloggers and a gal mentioned that she had written a post about things that pissed her off but never actually posted it. One of those things? Cupcakes. I laughed so hard at her reasoning that I choked on my sangria.
“Cupcakes are bullshit.” Were her words exactly. Her reasoning? No one wants a cupcake. We want a big piece of cake. Preferably a corner piece with extra icing. Oh how I wish she had her own blog because the girl is freaking hilarious!
So I started thinking about things that piss me off…Things that make me angry. Like, road rage type angry.
- I hate my mail man. He never comes at the same time each day and he ALWAYS leaves my mail box open when it’s raining. I think he does it on purpose. He’s a real douche.
- The homeless man by the expressway that has not one…but FOUR DOGS. How can you properly care for those dogs when you Don’t. Have. A. House?!?!? And he is in a wheelchair…hello? How are you going to chase after those dogs?!
- When I am out somewhere and realize that my cell phone charger wasn’t plugged in properly and my iPhone is dying. This will bring me to angry, angry tears.
- When people lie to me for no good reason. This has been happening to me a lot lately and I am about to kick some serious ass. I hate being lied to!
- When Auntie Flow decides to visit the first day of my long-awaited, much-anticipated vacation. We’ve all been there.
- When the UPS or FedEx man comes while I am in the bathroom…and I can hear him knocking but I can’t get out fast enough to answer the door…and he doesn’t leave the package. Ugh!
- Going to the mechanic. I HATE IT. I am terrified of mechanics. I have this overwhelming paranoia that they are going to stick nails in my tires, break my radiator cap or cut the wiring to my headlights. I know, I’m nuts…but those things have happened to me in the past! All “accidentally,” of course.
- People who shoot dogs and cats with bb guns. Do I really need to explain this?
- When my husband and daughter throw their dirty clothes NEXT TO THE HAMPER instead of in the hamper. A big enough pile of dirty laundry within inches of the hamper will reduce me to tears. Angry, angry tears.
- People who take more than 10 items into the express lane at the grocery store. It says “10 ITEMS OR LESS” people. Not “10 ITEMS OR MORE OR WHATEVER IS IN YOUR CART.” I’ve been known to tell someone that they had too many items and they needed to take their cart to another check out line. My time is valuable to me, people. Don’t make me get ghetto on your ass.