When You Lie, Make Sure There’s Not a Tattletale With You!

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When I was a kid, I remember constantly interrupting my mother when she was on the phone, telling her “that’s not how it happened,” and “that’s not right!!” – you know what I’m talking about, right?

She would get so frustrated, telling me to mind my own business, to stop butting into her conversations, etc. At the time, I thought that what I was doing was totally normal and acceptable…that I belonged in every conversation. Such is the insanity of children, huh?

Oh how that has come back to bite me in the ass!

The other day, while we were in the drive thru line at Wendy’s getting root beer floats, the drive thru attendant asked – with a smirk on his face, no less – if the car I was driving was mine or my husband’s.

I was driving my husband’s Pontiac GTO.

My husband’s. 

Of course, I answered without hesitation, “We share it.”

Which, of course, was a bold faced lie. But when a pimply teenage boy implies that you couldn’t possibly be cool enough to own a Pontiac GTO, there are really only two ways to respond.

1. You can rev your engine and speed off, leaving him holding his ears as your exhaust system ruptures his eardrums. Or…

2. You lie and say it’s your car.

Being that I really wanted my root beer float – DUDE, THEY MAKE IT WITH VANILLA FROSTY!!!! – I lied.

And of course, because Karma is a big fat b!tch, Angeline immediately called me on it. I couldn’t get that window up fast enough before she blurted out, “I thought you hated Daddy’s car!”

Which is kind of true, but not entirely.

I love driving the GTO because it makes me feel like a bad ass. Zoom zoom!

I hate that I am so short that the seat belt lies against my neck and I am in constant fear of being decapitated, should I have an accident. I hate that the car has that sporty supsension and every turn I make feels like I am trying to maneuver a big rig.

But…I love the look on guy’s faces when they are admiring the car and then realize there’s a chick behind the wheel.

I just have to remember that the next time I pretend to be loving the GTO, there’s not a big mouthed kid sitting in the passenger seat…

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Comments

  1. says

    That is too funny! I am sure that will be my kids and I someday. I already told my husband that I wanted my OWN, new Mustang someday. I doubt that will ever come true, but it sure would be nice.

  2. says

    When I was little my sister could never tell a lie and often went out of her way to make sure our parents knew “the truth”. Now, my youngest daughter is the same way…one MUST be careful what you say around her so it doesn’t come back to bite.

  3. says

    LOL Well, the good news is that you taught her well. The bad news is that you are no longer cool to the pimply faced kid at the Wendy’s drive thru window.

  4. says

    Oh my goodness that is hilarious! I used to do that ALL THE TIME as a kid- my parents never could keep a story straight- so it’s nice to know that’s going to come back & haunt me. lol!

  5. says

    My son is my lie detector. Which I don’t do often, because I’m a horrible liar. :/ I can relate completely with liking the feeling of others being impressed with finding out it’s a cool chick behind the wheel. :)

  6. says

    LOL oh that is something my daughter would do in a heartbeat! She is very much these are the rules, this is the truth and she doesn’t let you forget!

  7. says

    This is so going to be my daughter. She’s only 3 and already can’t help herself but to be as loud as humanly possible whenever I’m on the phone.

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