Well, Of Course the Zombie Apocalypse Began in Miami…

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Dude, what is going on lately?

If you haven’t heard by now – how could you not have?! – a man was found quite literally eating the face off of another man on the MacArthur Causeway ‘s pedestrian walkway last week…

They were both naked.

The first thing I thought when I heard this last weekend was CRACK.

Turns out it wasn’t crack, but some new form of LSD…most likely? Bath salts.

Bath salts?

Yup.

So this is what allegedly happened: a man was riding his bike on the pedestrian walkway, and came across a naked man eating the face off of another naked man. After unsuccessful attempts to stop the deranged psychopath, he flagged down a police officer, who was also unable to get him to stop. He literally had to shoot him until he was dead in order to stop the attack.

The victim was most likely a homeless man (that’s the rumor going around Miami anyway), and he was sent to the hospital with what some of the staff at Jackson Memorial Hospital say are the worst injuries they’ve ever seen.

They think the assailant was naked because of the drugs – cocktail drugs tend to raise the body temperature. There’s no telling if the victim was naked of his own accord or if the zombie-wannabe disrobed him.

Gross.

But…the flesh-eating frenzy doesn’t stop there.

I found a story while Stumbling the other day about a Japanese man offering to remove his penis and testicles and serve them as a meal, for what amounts to $250.00 US per patron.

And people actually did it. They bought and ate his manhood.

A restaurant hosted the event and cooked up the genitals while other regular restaurant patrons eat their own penis-free meals.

And…yes, there is another one…a student in Maryland killed and ate his roommate.

What the hell is going on?

I’m going to start practicing my aim, and polish up the guns…just in case.

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Comments

  1. says

    Lucky for me that all the neighbor boys are zombie obsessed gun fanatics. When the Apocalypse hits Oregon, I have the gamers on my side!

    There isn’t enough money in the world for ‘junk’ eating.

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