Things I’ve Learned from Shark Week! #SkarkWeek on Discovery Channel

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Much like the Honey Badger, The Great White don’t care. It’s nasty. It’s bad-ass. I personally think that the Great White is more bad-ass than the Honey Badger, but that’s just me.

It’s SHARK WEEK! Because I am such a nerd, I look forward to Shark Week on The Discovery Channel all year long.

Oh, you might be wondering when is Shark Week on Discovery Channel 2012? Dude. It starts August 12 – my DVR is already set!

Shark Week

So true…

Why, exactly am I so fascinated by sharks – the Great White Shark in particular?

Duh. They’re awesome.

Here are some things I’ve learned by watching Shark Week on The Discovery Channel over the years:

  • The Atlantic has Great White Sharks. I never knew this. Here I was, swimming around in the ocean, thinking the worse that could happen was I would be ripped away in a riptide…but really, this was out there waiting for me.
when is Shark Week

W. T. F. ?!

  • The Atlantic Great White Shark spends it’s summers up north near Massachusetts, and swims down to the Georgia Coast during the winter to have it’s babies. Yup. The Georgia coast is full of ferocious, baby Great White Sharks. Nice to know…
  • Great White Shark meat is not suggested for human consumption because it contains crazy amounts of mercury. Oh damn, because I wanted to go fishing for a Great White this afternoon to make it for dinner. Really? Who the hell eats Great White Sharks? I’ll tell you who: People in third world countries. This is a fact – I saw it on TV, so it must be true. They grind it up and make fish tacos. I can’t stop laughing at the idea of Jaws in a taco.
  • The Great White Shark is a solitary animal. They don’t chill in pairs, and mommas leave their babies almost immediately after birthing them. What bitches! No wonder they’re all so violent, they’re suffering from severe abandonment issues!
  • The Great White Shark sometimes looks like it’s smiling. It’s all an act, though, so don’t be fooled. It’s like it’s saying, “Hi. See, I’m  not that big of an asshole.” but really, it’s saying, “Hi, you look like a seal, so I am going to bite your leg off and then swim away like nothing happened.”
Shark Week

Hey, let’s do lunch.

  • The biggest Great White Shark ever caught was off Prince Edward Island in 1993. It was 20 feet long. DAMN. I’m going to have nightmares about that one.
  • Great White Sharks actually prefer Seals and Sea Lions, but sometimes bite humans…because they are mistaken for their preferred meal. That is why most Great White Shark attacks are a single bite – the shark realizes the human doesn’t taste quite right and releases them.
  • The Great White Shark really only has two predators: humans and the Orca. The Orca, being faster, stronger and generally more bad-ass, sometimes kill and eat Great White Sharks.
  • The Great White Sharks normally breed late in life – after they are about 20 years old. Due to changing environmental factors and humans basically hunting the hell out of them after Jaws came out in the 70’s, there is estimated to be less than 10,000 Great White Sharks in the oceans today.
As much as they freak me out, I find it sad that one of the oldest living creatures in the world is slowly dying out. I mean, look at the things – they are massive. They have hardly any natural enemies, yet they are facing extinction.
Go watch Shark Week! It’s not just about the Great White Shark, it’s about all sharks. The Great White is just my favorite.
Until August 4th, there are new shows on each night about sharks…and there are re-runs all day long from past seasons.
I’m in Shark Heaven!
* photos:
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  1. says

    I understand your concern for the great white sharks Jenn. Though it sounds funny to me the “Jaw” movie did contribute a lot why people hunt these sharks. They can be good ingredients for a healthy soup as well. But even though they posses a huge threat, they are still amazing creatures that needs to be left alone and protected. I think are special organizations taking care of this issue and preserving these species.

  2. says

    Shark week is now the reason why I am not going into the ocean while on vacation down in Wildwood, NJ in a few weeks. I want to keep my limbs. LOL

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