So, I’m quite certain that we’ve all received our fair share of SPAM. Whether it be some mailing list of discounted shoe sites, Viagra pills for $1, offers to refinance your home loan, Nigerian help-me-move-this-money fraud or my personal favorite, the “I’m a Russian girl looking to be your new best friend.”
What, you’ve never received a love letter from a strange women across the Atlantic who somehow found your online profile and thinks that you are her soul mate and the answer to her prayers? I get at least two a week. Maybe I’m just more desirable to Russian women than you.
Anyway, this morning, I woke up, rolled over and grabbed my iPhone and started checking emails.
What? You don’t check emails the second you wake up? No, YOU’RE THE FREAK.
I had this waiting for me this morning.
I can only assume that this is an email with a virus in that link that supposedly contains naughty photos and/or videos. Of course I just screen-shot the email and then deleted, then emptied my trash.
This email was hilarious. I mean, come on. Who on earth would be so stupid as to open that link?!
If you opened that link, then you deserved whatever was that was downloaded to your computer. Don’t be an idiot.
The person that created this is just plain stupid. What an asshole. He was probably incredibly proud of himself for coming up with this supposedly-brilliant scheme to download some sort of virus on my laptop/smart phone…but he didn’t get the opportunity.
Why? There are some pretty big mistakes in his email. It was obvious to me that it was SPAM right away.
1. I don’t know a Davie Foster. I don’t even know a David. I’ve never known a David in my entire life – except back in high school, and that was before I had even heard of the internet (what? Don’t laugh, I’m old. The internet was just invented when I was in the 9th grade and no one had it except Bill Gates or something), so obviously he doesn’t have my email address. Whomever crafted this SPAM should have made the “from” a little more generic, like Mike, Bob, Dude, etc. Something that might have made me think for a second about whether or not I knew who it was coming from!
2. I didn’t just break up with anyone via email. Um, hello, this is a big red flag that this is not a legitimate email.
3. I’ve never done anything even remotely questionable on video or film…so the entire link is a moot point.
4. What the hell is he talking about my parents for? I’m a 33 year old women who’s been married for 10 years. What my parents think is completely irrelevant. This is also a red flag that this person doesn’t know me – everyone knows that I keep it real.
5. This email was sent to about 100 people. I forgot to expand the email details at the top when I took the screen shot, but rest assured, the dumb ass didn’t even remember to blind copy…he sent it directly to a ton of people. Hello, that is a big red SPAM flag right there!
But you’ve got to hand it to ’em, they really got creative with this one, right?