Am I the only one that fantasizes about owning a pet Unicorn?
Okay, actually, I would prefer a Pegasus, but come on, we all know that Pegasuses aren’t real.
I came across this listing on eBay for a pet Unicorn.
Shit just got real, y’all.
I have fallen on some hard times and am unable to care for Gus, my pet unicorn. This unicorn has been in our family for years, and has a lot of sentimental value to me. There was that one time when a boy fell in a well and Gus shouted down words of encouragement.
Gus has a very expensive diet of glitter and root beer floats. We are unable to afford his food, and annual immunizations against sadness.
Gus is loving, great with the kids, and an excellent guard unicorn for the elderly because he’s invisible. But he is clearly real, as you can see him farting a rainbow in the attached artist rendering. However, he isn’t completely potty trained. So sometimes he gets happiness all over the carpet, and that glitter just gets tracked all over the house. I would advise that you remove all glue and rhinestones from your house.
I’m sure Gus will go to a loving home who will care for him for many years to come since unicorns have a lifespan of forever.
(Pet unicorn does not come with Hello Kitty. Hello Kitty was added for artistic purposes only. Rainbows, however, are real.)
And the price? 0.99! Unfortunately, the bidding has already ended on this awesome listing. I was devastated when I learned I couldn’t purchase Gus.
Who came up with this awesome listing? My friend and fellow blogger, The Manwife. Check out his blog for other hilarious stuff, like how to reject a job rejection letter.