Regret

My maternal grandmother turned 70 this May. That’s a pretty big deal to me, as she is in ill health. Diabetes (which she doesn’t manage well) and a host of other minor illnesses and life experiences has left her languid, frail and a bit sad. I haven’t always gotten along well with my grandmother. As a…

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docmartens

It Happens to the Best of Us

  When I grew up, I traded in my Doc Martens for high heels. I traded in my peroxide-induced copper streaks for long layers at the local salon. I donated my satchel with the Dr. Pepper patch, opting instead for Coach handbags in a colorful palette. I traded Social Distortion for Blink 182; shots of moonshine…

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dreamer's path

A Moment of Silence

Who knows what lies deep within my heart – the stories that unfold before my mind’s eye, in the deepest recesses of my mind? These secrets are mine, I hold them dear to me and I am unwilling to share. My secret light shines brightest when I am alone. Those who prefer their own company…

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youth

Childhood Innocence

Normally when I read a book, I read it in one or two sittings. I find reading similar to watching a movie – I can’t do it in parts, I want the entire story lain before me immediately, in its entirety. Currently, I am reading a book about the playwright JM Barrie, the author of…

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Preserving love

I had a telephone conversation tonight with my daughter’s aunt. She is the older sister of my deceased ex-boyfriend. I’ve only recently been befriended by her, I’d say in the last year or so. It is a difficult issue to address. I have tried numerous times to put into words the emotion I feel when…

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Mother's Day

I am a mother 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. Yesterday around 3 pm, I grabbed my youngest sister and hauled her to Key Largo for a little R&R with my grandmother, my mother and my other two sisters (there are four of us, and I’m the oldest). When…

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scones

Lemon Cranberry Scones

I spent the majority of today baking. I recently became obsessed with a new book, Confections of  a Closet Master Baker, by Gesine Bullock Prado…and I’ve been attempting to recreate some of the most tempting recipes. Today I made a four layer vanilla cake with lemon curd filling and icing. I also made lemon cranberry…

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Denial

Waiting and knowing… Like an ocean before us, it rushes forward, then retreats into itself. I smell it, salty and pungent. Overwhelming. The truth burns like sulfur in my nose, my eyes water. I look away. I fight back the tears that come with the knowledge. I fight to appear stoic. You maintain a calm…

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