10 Reasons Why I’m Happy I’m NOT Pregnant

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Everyone is getting pregnant! WTF is in the water?!

It’s giving me the tiniest bit of baby fever.

Regardless of the reasons that I would love to have another little one – it’s entirely impossible (thanks to a baby-making-preventative surgery) with my husband. Even though my entire family KNOWS that we can not have more children, they always ask us, “Why don’t you have a baby?”

So…I am seeing a ton of posts lately about pregnancy, babies, how great it is being pregnant, etc. In order to keep that baby fever from making me too jealous, I’ve decided to concentrate on the reasons why it’s awesome NOT to be pregnant right now.

10 Reasons Why It’s Awesome to NOT be Pregnant:

  • My husband had a vasectomy four years ago. If I were pregnant, I would also be getting divorced because there is NO way my husband would believe that the baby was his!
  • I enjoy sleeping and not being covered in vomit.
  • I’m going on a girl’s weekend cruise in November – what fun is lounging by the pool all day if I’m not drinking Pina Coladas?!
  • The “beach ball” look does not flatter me.
Exhibit A:
  • Co-Sleeping would be impossible with my two shelties always in the bed. They chase the cat away, it frightens me to think of what they would do to an infant!
  • My pregnant stomach attracts small animals.
Exhibit A:
  • My husband travels for work practically half of the month…there would be no one here to drive to the store to buy me pickles and ice cream.
  • Child car seats have changed A LOT since 1997. I don’t know how to work the new ones. They intimidate me.
Exhibit C:
  • Nursery? Who has time to remodel a spare room into a nursery? I haven’t even found the time to make it a functional spare bedroom yet!
  • If I were pregnant, my daughter would put two and two together and realize that her father and I have sex. I’d like to prevent this from happening for as long as possible. Like…never.

See? I feel a little better now. That is, until I start seeing photos of adorable newborns all over Facebook.

Ugh.

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Comments

  1. says

    I love your reasons. Even with 4 kids and knowing we are done, seeing all these pregnant mamas is making me a bit jealous too. I’ll take your lead and remember all the great reasons NOT to be pregnant (and look forward to getting that sleep you speak of. My just turned 1 year old is still not sleeping through the night)!

  2. says

    I know exactly what you mean. My uterus sometimes throws a tantrum whenever I see adorable baby photos, screaming I WANT ONE. But then I remember about the three months of 24/7 vomiting and IVs. And how I was in maternity clothes 3.2 seconds after I got pregnant. And I only have to look down and see my c-section scars to remember why I don’t have another one. But my eldest just started her senior year and my youngest just started sixth grade and I find myself thinking … oh, if I just had another one. Sigh.

  3. says

    LMAO! OK first of all I think you look super cute with a beach ball belly! Surprisingly, all of the latest PG announcements have not given me baby fever. 4 is enough, thank you very much.

  4. says

    Thanks! I needed this – I’ve had a little baby fever lately, and this helped! My husband is gone most of the time too, so a newborn and no one to hand it off to would NOT be fun!

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